Raining!

It is raining, and has off and on for the last few days!  My heart is so happy.  I have always loved the rain, but even more so after we moved to the desert.  To feel its cool wetness upon the skin, tis really a blessing from God!  I just love nights like tonight, when the rain comes, and everything is cool, damp, and beautiful again.  Tis truly a blessings to be enjoyed!

~ Morria

Gypsy Soul

Gypsy soul, fettered down by world's cares,

Gypsy soul, battered & broken by pain,

Gypsy soul, tattered & seeking rest.

How long is this road before us?

How long till this path divides?

How long shall this trail be?

This Gypsy longs for a place of rest,

This Gypsy longs for a home to settle,

This Gypsy longs for His peace to remain.

© 2015 MMN

~ Morria

Itchy Feet!

We have been basically stationary for the last 6 months, and my feet are getting itchy to travel.  We have not been this stationary, in well... our whole marriage.  We were always on the road at least part time, raising support as missionaries, traveling to help family, traveling to the churches we worked in on the rez or elsewhere...
Now?  We are so settled it feels like my head is spinning.  This overly hot valley which houses the Phoenix metro is not a place I want to be stuck in for long.  Our lease is till October, so I will abide till then... Hopefully my health will hold out over the summer... as the 90 F it has been already this spring is doing a number on me already.

Maybe God is trying to teach me how to settle down.  How to be a good wife.  How to be a "Stay at Home Gypsy"...
All I know is I am climbing walls and restless trying to figure out who I am looks like in this new chapter that is beginning to open up... and I am not doing to well in the adjustment phase, as Robby can tell you.  Restless "Gypsy Gal" is not a happy "Gypsy Gal".  LOL.

Honestly though, I do think God is trying to teach me to be a good wife, homemaker, and to learn to be a gypsy without always being on the open road.

I don't know where the days and months ahead are leading me and Robby, only that we are on a grand new adventure... bumpy as it may be.
I don't know where this new "road" in life is going, only that the Journey-Giver has set it before us.
"Daddy, help me to be all that You wish for me, in this our new adventure! Amen."

~ Morria

Those who have gone before...

25 years ago, my Grandma Houser passed away,
22 years ago, my Grandpa Fitzpatrick passed away,
15 years ago, my Grandpa Houser passed away,
13 years ago, was the "Year of Sorrow",
10 years ago, my Grandma Fitzpatrick passed away,
7 years ago, Robby's Grandma Sylvania passed away.
3 years ago, my Aunt Nelda and Aunt Jewel passed away,
1 year ago, my Merami passed away.

In honor of them all, I share you this song that I wrote in 2000,
when Grandpa Houser passed away:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Song of Sorrow

(set to the tune of "Barbra Allen")

From Irish halls to huts straw,

the wind of sorrow blows,

an’ everyone that hears its song,

knows of the cryin’. 

For in the heart an’ in the ear,

 the song it goes,

and sends each one

to bended knee

 for sorrow's prayer.

For sorrow’s course must take its hold,

and the joy its wing,

for in this life

they have their place,

an’ none can change it.

For in sorrows an’ joys,

this life its made,

an’ though we plead,

an’ though we beg,

this life it flies on.

So when the wind of sorrow comes,

we know our lot,

an’ turn our hearts

 to the Lord above,

our God and King!

For in His death

He bore our pain,

on sorrow’s tree,

an’ in Him we have our hope

for today.

So now, my friends,

ye’ve heard

the song of sorrow,

an’ to thee I bid ado

until the mor-row.


Copyright 2000 MMH/MMN

Hikes and Valentines...

St. Valentine's Weekend is such a festive time for us!  Seeings as this year we live somewhere warm enough to do some fun outdoor adventuring, Robby and I hunted for a hiking trail not far away that "beginners", or re-beginners, could hike... Our goal, hike the Ringtail Trail to the Sunrise Trail junction, then return to the car.  We nearly made it, but turned around a wee bit shy of the goal, because Robby was not in the best shoes for the hike...new hiking shoes seem to be in order soon.  But it was a great start to our Valentine's weekend, as we got to see woodpeckers, lizards, and possibly and elf owl, but it was a wee bit to far out to tell for sure.  Some wild flowers were beginning to bloom, making it feel like spring.  In all, twas grand to be in God's creation, and not feel like we were in the city.

~ Morria

Figuring things out...

Sometimes I wish I knew more... Understood more... Could peace the puzzle that is life together better... Here I am 32, and sometimes I think I had a better grasp on life at 16 than I do now.  Then there are moments when I think I am beginning to glimpse  the path, only to have it disappear into the shadows again.  I thought I knew who I was when I was 13, when I was 16, when I was 19, when I was 25, but now at 32.... I can honestly say, this Gypsy Gal has no clue who she really is...  Am I the herbalist?  Am I the missionary? I am the wife, who dutifully aids her husband so that he can better provide for them?  Am I the scared girl, who has forgotten her way?  Or am I something more... that I have not quite figured out yet?

Dont get me wrong... I love the life I have lived thus far.  Yet, ever since last year... when my adopted mother died just after I was "stabbed in the back" by someone else I trusted... I have felt displaced, out of focus, not quite sure of the world.  It is not like I have not faced death over and over.  It is not like I have not dealt with betrayal before and come out alright... but this time it rocked me to my core.

I keep think I am coming out of it... I keep think I am getting better... only to find myself still in the dark cave still marveling at the light, but not quite ready to crawl all the way out yet.  Yeah, I may be closer to the opening than I was 6 months ago... but I am not out yet by any mean... "O, God, help me! I cant do this alone!"

~ Morria

Herbalist

My studies are going well.  Better than I expected.  At first, I was like, well Natural Health is here to stay, I have always been good at understanding it, yet, I just did not really realize how much God had built it into me as one of my great passion.  True, often in my stories there was an herbalist.  When I was younger at first it was a secondary character, and I was the warrior woman.  Then as I grew older that shifted, and instead of a warrior woman, I was the healer, the herbalist herself...

Then, I really grew up, and bought into what I was told, "You cant do that, not in the modern world."  I should have looked into it.  I should not have just listened to those who were ill informed on many issues.  It is a viable trade again, there is training for it, which now I am seeking, but with great time lost.  Yet, looking back I wonder... Would have I been as good at it at 19 as I am now at 32?  Would I have had the passion, the skill, the understanding?  Or would I have just been a childish dreamer back then?  I guess I shall never know, but the future is indeed brighter.   Soon, I shall be Morria the Herbalist, for that I am truly thankful.

~ Morria

Rediscovery...

They say when you get older you know yourself better...  sadly that is not always true.  I think I knew more about who I was and where I was heading at 16 than I did at 21.  I hit the "real world" and thought, "Hey, I was a kid, I thought like one, I can't do any of that as an adult."  Well, I was wrong.
1) I wanted to be a missionary living out in Dine Bikeyah. - VERY Do able! 
2) I wanted to use and teach others to use herbs. - Working towards now!
3) I wanted to live off the land.  - Working towards our own homestead!


Why did I stop working towards those last two?  Because well meaning adults told me to grow up and join the "real world", you can survive and provide doing those.

So now the door swung open...  I can see clearly the path that was hiding just beneath the fog of lies.  I can be the woman God created me to be.  My love of Herbs, of the Natural world, of tending to others, and living off the land... they do have a place in the 21st Century.  I am not just some crazy dreamer.  I am the Desert Gypsy Goth/ Gypsy Goth Gal that I am suppose to be.  This backward look, for forward purpose, has been a true blessing... a journey of rediscovery of the Morria I have always been underneath...

~ Morria

Gypsy Gal's Song of Reflection

Be still, my wandering soul,

Rest, my gypsy feet,

Be at peace, my sojourning heart!

The Journey-Giver is with you,

The Story-Maker is your King,

The Refuge-Keeper is your God!

O, sing my soul!

O, dance my feet!

O, rejoice my heart!

Magnify His Holy Name!

© 2015 MMN  

~ Morria 

A New Year is Dawning! 2015!

A new year is upon us!  2015 has darkened our doors.  The old year of 2014 has passed, and the new year of 2015 has dawned.
May haps 2015 shall be brighter and more joyful than 2014 was?
Or may haps my way of looking at the trials that come my way, bidden and unbidden... has or will be be changing in 2015.  May be this is the year for new adventures and setting down the frame work to accomplish some big new dreams... mine and Robby's too.
Where ever it takes us, I know God goes with us!


New Year Goals - 2015

• Stay settled for ALL of 2015 (not including road trips) - Don't let the wanderlust uproot us before Rob graduates!
• Grow in God and be Engaged in His Word!
• Eat more healthily - more Eco-friendly, Naturally, & Organically.
• Let my walls down - Let myself be more of the free spirit that I caged inside!
• Let go of "stuff" - Find new ways to remember that dont weight down the journey!
• Re-learn to play my guitar!
• Find a bike I adore and get back onto the road around town!
• Start dancing again!  (Haven't really since 2007, and not a lot  since 2002...)

~ Morria

My Goals - The "Bucket List"

As I was re-reading my older blogs, I rediscovered my Life Goals which I jotted down in my journal back when I graduated high school in 2001.  It was fun to see myself and my dreams for life back then, even more so... it has been amazing to see just how many I have already fulfilled without even planing!  Now that is an accomplishment, when one forgets what their own goals were, and yet still lives them out with out even trying...  ~_^

Goals for Morria's Life

New (as of 2014):

• Never stop growing closer to God.
• Live a more natural, sustainable, eco-friendly lifestyle.
• Uncluttered, dehoard, and empty baggage from home, life, and soul!
• Rediscover biking, and go on bicycling trips!
• Explore Thailand and/or India...
• Settle down in New Mexico or Arizona!

Old (from 2001):

• Find my journey-task or journey-tasks. (different ones for different phases of life)
• Have and keep 5 close friends. (Working on this one... have 2 -3 long distance ones?)
• Swim in the Ocean, if possible all 7 Seas...
• Explore New Orleans more than once!
• Explore Phoenix. (Currently living there!)
• Explore Seattle, Portland, and Coos Bay!
• Travel to ALL 50 states! (Alaska, Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Georgia, South Carolina, and Florida left!)
• See as much of the World outside the USA as possible. (Been to Canada and Mexico.)
• Explore Ireland.  
• Live a life of Love, Faith, and Kindness...
• Live in such a way, that when I pass... many lives will have been forever change... even if I never know how I touched their hearts...

Accomplished (Unplanned and still got done!):

• Graduate College somewhere. (Stratford - 2003, ISoM - 2007, Stratford - 2015?)
• Be someones gypsy gal... maybe even their gypsy queen! (I am Robby's Gypsy Queen!)
• Get Married. (To Robby, December 15, 2007!)
• Journey Back to Dine Bikeyah (7 times, thus far!)
• Swim acrossed a lake. (Lake Wildwood, Cornerstone Grounds 2008)
• Explore Chicago. (Lived there 14 months, 2008/2009)
• Learn to Drive a Car. (September 2009, Licensed!)
• Go to Estes Park, CO. (2012)
• Be a missionary some where for longer than two months? (Dine Bikeyah, 3 years)

~ Morria

Reflection... 2014

What a year it has been!  Moved from Kentucky to New Mexico, jobs dried up for us, my mother died.  We began to examine the future: I started Natural Health studies, Robby got in to Le Cordon Bleu... thusly we moved to Scottsdale, AZ.  What a whirl wind it has been... and somewhere along the path... I lost my focus on my dreams and goals.   For these last two months... since we started the move...my natural health studies sat idle.

Natural Health to me is so much more than just a hobby, it has been a passion (especially the Herbal side) since I was 13.  Even more I have immersed myself in it after major health issues between my 16-18th years.  As dear Navajo elder put it, "God blessed us with natural cures, they must not be forgotten."  As I rediscover my path, I am seeing more and more just how this gifting and passion may play in... Rob is pursuing his passion via education.  Now I will mine, first by finishing my course, the from there we shall see.

Sometimes we lose sight of the path, not because of fog, or trials, just busyness.  Sometimes fog does roll in and we feel as if we have lost our way.  In times like those, just a day at a time, stepping no farther than we can see His light, we somehow end up discovering as much or more about ourselves than when the path is bright, and the way... but we must never stop looking for His light...  Even when it is very dark, it will still be there, we just have to have our eyes open for it.  Take heart and journey onward!


~ Morria

The Journey Begins...

So I find myself on the road again... Life has away of changing when we least expect it.  Life among the Navajo was awesome and I will never forget it.  But it appears that door is closing most likely for good for Robby and me.  No this is not the end of our travels and adventures.  Rather a new door is opening that we were not excepting... where and when it will be, we know not, but we trust Him to show us the path that is set out for us on this new journey-task.

~ Morria

Reawakening...

There is so much about my self that I had forgotten, that I had locked away to never be seen again.  Or so I thought.  When I walked away from the subcultures, I locked away my art, my poetry, my uniqueness for the sake of peace, for the sake of fitting in.  And I was miserable in so doing. Why does one try to fit in to a mold, a box, a cookie cutter that they were not made for? When I have stepped out of that mold, and began to re-embrace the me I discovered nearly 13 years ago, I felt more peace than I have in years.  It was like a door swung open, not only for me, but also for my husband as well.  It is not as though this will be an easy path.  There will be some bumps in the road along the way, especially as we figure out our ministry paths, but at last I will be free to be the woman God made me to be!

~ Morria

Lonely Road

It is not easy walking this road.  In fact, it can be very lonely.  Even when you have a good, loving family, if the dont walk this road in the shadowlands, then there is little comfort there.  The strong arms of the Lord are such a comfort, but it is a blessing when friends, brothers and sisters in Christ come and walk along with you. Those friends can be the light God sends to easy the journey.  A brightness in ones day, and ones life.  Not all friends are light bringers, some so called friends are light dimmers.  Those are the ones, which are likely to betray you, stab you in the back, and leave you worse than when you started... yet in good times run to you.   If it seems to good to be true, more than likely it is.  Yet those who come and help when you are down, bind your wounds, and leave you healing, those are those to keep close.  

Thank God for true friends for they make the lonely road bearable!

~ Morria

Same Thing, Same Way?

It saddens me when people over and over and over again, do the same thing, the same way, never changing their methods, when over and over it is falling apart.  If something is broken, not working, or failing, it is time to step back and see what is wrong.  It doesn't matter if you think it cant be done differently...

This is especially true when it come to ministry.  I have seen so many people fall flat, Robby and my self included, because we have tried to do the same thing the same way, when it didnt work right the first time.  That is part of why Robby and I  are thinking about stepping back, to focus on our vocations, so later on we CAN be bi-vocational missionaries.
But just because no one has ever done a ministry a certain way in a church, as long as it is not un-Biblical doesn't mean you cant be the first.  Yeah there are risks, but there are souls at stake too.  What if you not doing it, means God has to find someone else to reach that person, or maybe they dont get reached at all?  That is what has been weight on my heart...  That is all.

~ Morria

Wayfaring Stranger

Wayfaring Stranger is a personal favorite, dating back to before Robby and I met, though even more so after.  It's a tradition ballad, hymn song, from the mountains, and deeply moving.  Of late espeically verse 3 about "my mother".   I know she is on the other side waiting for me... but this life is not easy in the mean time.  At least I have the hope of my salvation, and my eternal home to wait me.

 This is my favorite version, so I just had to share this...

~ Morria

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wayfaring Stranger

I am a poor wayfaring stranger,

While traveling through this world of woe.

Yet there's no sickness, toil nor danger,

In the bright world to which I go.

I'm going there to see my father,

I'm going there no more to run,

I'm only going over Jordan,

I'm only going over home...

I know dark clouds will gather round me;

I know my way is rough and steep.

But golden fields lie out before me,

Where God's redeem shall never sleep.

I'm going there to see my mother,

She said she'd meet me when I come.

I'm only going over Jordan,

I'm only going over home...

I'll soon be free from every trial,

My body sleepin' in the churchyard;

I'll drop the cross of self denial,

And enter on my great reward.

I'm going there to see me Savior,

To sing His praise forevermore!

I'm only going over Jordan,

I'm only going over home...

~ Public Domain ~

God, are You there?

Daddy?  God?  Iosa?  Are You still there?   Do You hear me when I pray?  Do You see how shattered I have become?  Do You still guide me through this fog, or have I now wandered into a cave?  Does Your light still shine on my path?  Have I wandered off the path?   I am no longer Yours?  Have You abandon me?  Are You still with me?

Why won't this pain lift from my heart?  Why can I not see beyond the sorrow and the pain?  Betrayal, death, brokenness, loss of trust... two blows at once... more than I could take.  You know me... I have never prayed for life to be easy... I have just prayed for myself to be strong in You, that I might make it through.  Help me keep going... help me keep taking it one day at a time... help me stay strong and not give up.

~ Morria

Earth Day: 2014

 When we first entered this plant with Adam and Eve, God gave us but one job, tending the garden.

Now many years later, we have to be reminded that we have been given only one Earth, and it is our job to take care of it.  As broken, tattered, and gypsy souls as we are, we only have one dwelling to remain in until we enter heaven, and we best be busy caring for it.

Some might say, we are heaven bound, what does it mater what we do to the earth?  First off, God told us to care for earth.  Secondly, it is a good witness to those who have yet to believe.  Thirdly and personally, there is so much joy to found working with earth and in desert/beach/forest/gardens.  So, if nothing else, take time to day to stop and smell the flowers!

~ Morria

Joy Comes ing the Morning!

Joy comes in the morning!  God has promised it, and it is true. Sometimes it is little small things, sometimes they steal in and surprise us.  But He is good, and even in times of deepest mourning, in fact often more some then... He will give us little joys to carry us through.

~ Morria