Reflection... 2014

What a year it has been!  Moved from Kentucky to New Mexico, jobs dried up for us, my mother died.  We began to examine the future: I started Natural Health studies, Robby got in to Le Cordon Bleu... thusly we moved to Scottsdale, AZ.  What a whirl wind it has been... and somewhere along the path... I lost my focus on my dreams and goals.   For these last two months... since we started the move...my natural health studies sat idle.

Natural Health to me is so much more than just a hobby, it has been a passion (especially the Herbal side) since I was 13.  Even more I have immersed myself in it after major health issues between my 16-18th years.  As dear Navajo elder put it, "God blessed us with natural cures, they must not be forgotten."  As I rediscover my path, I am seeing more and more just how this gifting and passion may play in... Rob is pursuing his passion via education.  Now I will mine, first by finishing my course, the from there we shall see.

Sometimes we lose sight of the path, not because of fog, or trials, just busyness.  Sometimes fog does roll in and we feel as if we have lost our way.  In times like those, just a day at a time, stepping no farther than we can see His light, we somehow end up discovering as much or more about ourselves than when the path is bright, and the way... but we must never stop looking for His light...  Even when it is very dark, it will still be there, we just have to have our eyes open for it.  Take heart and journey onward!


~ Morria

Revelations...

Sometimes in life we think we know and understand what is going on around us.We think we know what the one we love is saying, what they mean, and how life is meant to be.   Then we go about our lives together based on those understandings, meanings, and purpose... we scarfice things for the other.  We base our goals on the other and vise versa.  But what if one day you woke up to find out you had misunderstood each other for years?  That you had misunderstood each other? That you had changed things based on those misunderstandings?  Would it be like a light coming on in the darkness for you?  Would relief flood your streets?  Would joy overtake you?

 For me the storm rolled in this past week.  7 years of misunderstandings, miscommunications, rough pasts, and giving things up thinking that is what had to be done... exploded messily.  But once the explosion was done and everything was out in the open, it was as though the light had been turned on in a dark cave, and all at once we could see beautiful art on the walls.  We saw each other in new lights, dreams long thought needed to abandon are picked back up, and we are so much more at peace together.

To Robby:

My love, my joy, what a blessing you are!
A companion to walk beside me,
A friend to share my joys and sorrows,
A soul mate to know my heart,
A warrior to fight for me in times of danger,
A gentleman to shower me with love.
A servant of God to serve along side,
This is the man who I love!
(MMN - 2014)

~ Morria

Lonely Road

It is not easy walking this road.  In fact, it can be very lonely.  Even when you have a good, loving family, if the dont walk this road in the shadowlands, then there is little comfort there.  The strong arms of the Lord are such a comfort, but it is a blessing when friends, brothers and sisters in Christ come and walk along with you. Those friends can be the light God sends to easy the journey.  A brightness in ones day, and ones life.  Not all friends are light bringers, some so called friends are light dimmers.  Those are the ones, which are likely to betray you, stab you in the back, and leave you worse than when you started... yet in good times run to you.   If it seems to good to be true, more than likely it is.  Yet those who come and help when you are down, bind your wounds, and leave you healing, those are those to keep close.  

Thank God for true friends for they make the lonely road bearable!

~ Morria

Finding the Path

It has been a hard year.   Moved back to Dine Bikeyah only to have my heart ripped out and trampled on by those who asked us out here.  Just after that, my Merami (mother) passed away suddenly.   After the memorial, I basically shut down for 2-3 months.  Darkness over took me.  I was lost.  I did not know what path to be on anymore.  Kept going through the motions, knowing that if I kept going forward, I would in time see the light beyond the deep heavy fog that I was in.

Then this month, the light has begun the peak through a bit.  My husband, Robby, and I decided to sit down and watch a TV show he had discovered called "Grimm".  To my surprise, I loved it.   Even more surprising, it awoke in me realization I could turn my passion into a living.  So now I am studying to become a Natural Health Consultant, phase 1 of my 4 part plan: Phase 1: Natural Health Consultant Training; Phase 2: Master Herbalist Training; Phase 3: Doula or Midwife Training; Phase 4: Open Herb, Tea, Spice Shop and Natural Health Consultant Office.   Now my passion for herbs and natural health wont be wasted...

So I must say, while the pathway is still as dark as ever, now a path way is lit before me.  The way is clearer, and my hope stronger.  My faith will carry me on, even if I dont understand why I am going through these things.  So I say again, "To you my Lord, will I cling.  Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ to my right, and Christ to my left."

~  Morria

God, are You there?

Daddy?  God?  Iosa?  Are You still there?   Do You hear me when I pray?  Do You see how shattered I have become?  Do You still guide me through this fog, or have I now wandered into a cave?  Does Your light still shine on my path?  Have I wandered off the path?   I am no longer Yours?  Have You abandon me?  Are You still with me?

Why won't this pain lift from my heart?  Why can I not see beyond the sorrow and the pain?  Betrayal, death, brokenness, loss of trust... two blows at once... more than I could take.  You know me... I have never prayed for life to be easy... I have just prayed for myself to be strong in You, that I might make it through.  Help me keep going... help me keep taking it one day at a time... help me stay strong and not give up.

~ Morria

The Fog...

So how do you explain walking through a thick fog in the middle of the desert spring?  Even more how do you explain when that fog is your life? That's how things have felt since March 13th, when my adopted mother, past from this life to the next.  It is not that I am laying around stuck in sorrow.  Nay, in truth, I am up about and going on with daily life.  Tis just that daily things seem to be coated in a thick fog and the Light to my path is not breaking through very far...

~ Morria

Seasons of Change...

"Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my Light..."  As seasons change, and the people we know change, are taken from us, or grow away from us, tis a joy to know Iosa* is always with us.  And winds of change do keep blowing strongly through my life.  Yet that can be a good thing, as it give clarity, focus, and new experiences to the journey of life. I do not as of yet know exactly where this journey will take us for long, but I am so thankful for Iosa's Light as I have gone through my journeys.... not sure where I would be with out it, but not here that is for sure.

"High King of Heaven, my treasure Thou art!"  It can be strange to think about what use to be important.  All the stuff that needlessly clutters our lives. All those small things that take up so much space, but yet mean soo little or nothing at all.  What is a treasure to me?  I only have a few earthly ones:  Robby, my doll - Beth (which I have had since I was 10), our two Navajo Rugs, and all our dear friends and family (most of these people we shall see in heaven, if not all before the end)...
But my greatest treasure is Iosa, I would chose Him above it all, for He is my hope and my salvation!  Without Him nothing else matters!

"Be Thou my soul's shelter!"  A shelter for the soul, a refuge in troubled times, that is what Iosa  is!  More than that, He is the strong tower in which we wage our war against the spiritual darkness from within.  Outside of Him, we fall and are easily slain and devoured by the enemy (Satan), but in Iosa, His Light, and with Him as our Treasure, we can stand strong through it all.  I may not know where the journey is going, but I know with Iosa, we will journey on!

~ Morria


*Iosa is Irish Gaelic for Jesus.