Gypsy Soul

Gypsy soul, fettered down by world's cares,

Gypsy soul, battered & broken by pain,

Gypsy soul, tattered & seeking rest.

How long is this road before us?

How long till this path divides?

How long shall this trail be?

This Gypsy longs for a place of rest,

This Gypsy longs for a home to settle,

This Gypsy longs for His peace to remain.

© 2015 MMN

~ Morria

Masks

 Masks, so many of us wear them, feel forced to wear them, or are required to wear them to keep jobs, be at a church, work in a mission.  Yet, kids and teens so many times see right through them, whether we want them to or not.  Why do we wear them?  Do we really need them?  Or is it just our own pain that causes us to wear them...

 Personally, I wear mine when I have been hurt so deeply that I cannot see beyond the pain.  It is not that I want to put it on, but the wound is soo deep, and so hard to deal with that the mask is all that lets me keep going, so that I am not always asked what is going on beneath.  I take it off before a few that are trusted, and finally when healing begins the mask comes off for all.

As a Christian, I hate wearing a mask.  I know that I dont have everything in my life in place.  I know that I mess up more times that I can remember.  I know that my brothers and sisters in Christ mess up just as much as I do.  I wish we had places where we could be more open and honest.  I wish the Church could stand up and be that place of safty again for us... maybe it can, but first we all have to get brave and take off the masks and agree to be honest and loving... no matter what we see..  Can we?  Will we?  I pray so....

~ Morria

God, are You there?

Daddy?  God?  Iosa?  Are You still there?   Do You hear me when I pray?  Do You see how shattered I have become?  Do You still guide me through this fog, or have I now wandered into a cave?  Does Your light still shine on my path?  Have I wandered off the path?   I am no longer Yours?  Have You abandon me?  Are You still with me?

Why won't this pain lift from my heart?  Why can I not see beyond the sorrow and the pain?  Betrayal, death, brokenness, loss of trust... two blows at once... more than I could take.  You know me... I have never prayed for life to be easy... I have just prayed for myself to be strong in You, that I might make it through.  Help me keep going... help me keep taking it one day at a time... help me stay strong and not give up.

~ Morria

In Memory...

They say this pain it goes away,

They say with time it eases,
If this then be true why do I think of you?

Every time a death comes by,
Every time I hear the Word,
Wonder I why you had to die.

Why when I see to study,
Why when I start to write,
Do my eye not stay dry?

Why cant I pick up a pen?
Why cant I draw again?

It has been nigh three summers,
Since death took you home,
Yet still here I morn,
And long for the eternal home.

Your words and your guidance,
Your smile and your laugh,
Still linger on though you are gone.

Why did God say I must journey on?

© 2005 MMH/MMN

In honor of my mentor/spiritual big brother, Samuel, who died in 2002.  Yes, I still struggle with survivors guilt/ptsd from his death and the others from the "year of sorrow".

~ Morria

Bitter Days...

dark, dark lay my soul in bitter whoa,
for much that was is no more
and much that will be is not yet...
so much is lost and that now gone
so much never to be regained...
such was the pains of those bitter days

© 2004 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

Tattered Souls

Bitter sorrow and torment, we sent Thee to.

Suffering and pain were Thy lot,

Until by death You did part,

Then to life returned.

Why did You call these tatter souls Thine?

Why do You want us at Thy feast?

We who did betray You to Thy DEATH.

Why it is we do not know,

Yet here in the shadowlands,

Beside the old worn cross faith does come alive,

As Thy holy blood cleans this tattered soul.

© 2004 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

Ashen Skies...

God, burn up all the ugly parts of my life!  Kill the parts of me that You dont want around.   I hate this life like it is right now, with such pain and sorrow.  Burn out the sin, burn out the evil, leave only what You will in their place. Amen!

I don't know where I am headed...I once did... but all this craziness has clouded my view.   God help me see the path again... the ash in the sky is too thick!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaze to heaven, soul in ashes,

Heart on fire, life in rune,

Trials and turmoils,

Joys and blessings,

All this way do come.

Gaze above, life shadows

Heart alive, soul in distress,

Pain and death,

Healing and life,

All this way do come.

© 2004 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

The Gypsy Goth Gal

PEACE....
now that is a word that use to be so easy for me to explain.  Life was good.  I knew where I belonged in those days.  Well, at least in terms of at my church.... took me years to find out I belonged reaching out the the youth.

UNREST...
O, my soul is restless!
I know it now.  I have the restless, wandering spirit of the Irish missionaries and gypsies of old.  I knew by now I would be preparing to leave home.  I knew it when I was 16.  I wish I had listened to myself better.  LOL! Oh to wander the open lands, going where He sends me!

PAINED...
The Sorrow and Loss of the past year, the Year of Sorrow, have left it's bitter scars.  Death, losses, unwise choices, bitter wounds, and lessons learned. I may not be strong yet, but I am stronger from these trials.  I am not praying for this life to be easy, just for the strength to make it.

ACTION...
With this all summed up, I am starting to really prepare and pack today.  My goal? That I might be able to give up  all that which is no longer needed or useful for the journey.  My time in Kansas is over... No matter how much longer I physically stay, I will live as if I am a visitor, a gypsy goth on the way to their next stop.

Father to You this Life, I commit!

~ Morria