Ashes to Ashes?

April 12th marks the 1 year mark for my Merami's memorial... and the end of my year of mourning, though I know I will still have to deal with her being gone from now till I myself die.  I think the thing I found the hardest is the fact that she was cremated.  I am not even going to touch the pros-cons or religious views of this, but I am dealing with a real issue.  I have no place to go to say good-byes.  No headstone, no grave... Yeah, sure her ashes are up on the mantle at Dad's place, by her picture (same one pictured here from the memorial)... but that is just not the same.

I am not against cremation, but I personal know when my Dad has passed (he has in his will to be cremated too), I am taking his and mom's ashes and burying them in a grave plot, placing a head stone, and having a place to visit, place flowers, and it be final.   Just like this gypsy gal is looking for her Travelers Rendezvous/permanent home till heaven... so do they need a final resting place.  I just hope I can live some where 29 plus years, as my parents did, and  my Dad still does...

~ Morria

Car Troubles

So, a friend from church gave us the funds out of the blue to get to New Mexico for the young man's memorial.  We were totally not expecting this.  It was all that we needed plus some extra.  That is all we were needing till at Hurricane Mills, Stormy decided she wanted to die.  Well, actually she had been over heating for a while, just at Hurricane Mills she decided she wasn't going to go any more.

Never in my life have has this gypsy gal been so thankful for a semi-hard bed at a Knight's Inn as I am tonight.  We were hot, soaked to the bone with our own sweat, and famished.  We walked to the gas station and got some pizza as nothing else was open.  Now after showers we are going to crash for the night.  Tomorrow, we are going to slowly drive on down into town, and prayerfully get the car fixed.  Dad said he would pay for it... Such a blessing.... Now, sleep calls my name...

~ Morria

In Memory...

They say this pain it goes away,

They say with time it eases,
If this then be true why do I think of you?

Every time a death comes by,
Every time I hear the Word,
Wonder I why you had to die.

Why when I see to study,
Why when I start to write,
Do my eye not stay dry?

Why cant I pick up a pen?
Why cant I draw again?

It has been nigh three summers,
Since death took you home,
Yet still here I morn,
And long for the eternal home.

Your words and your guidance,
Your smile and your laugh,
Still linger on though you are gone.

Why did God say I must journey on?

© 2005 MMH/MMN

In honor of my mentor/spiritual big brother, Samuel, who died in 2002.  Yes, I still struggle with survivors guilt/ptsd from his death and the others from the "year of sorrow".

~ Morria

"Good" Friday

Black sky, black sky,

the Son to die.
Crimson tide from the tattered Soul.
Shadow cross, shadow cross,

O, such a loss.
Dark shroud for such a bitter end.

© 2005 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

Broken Soul...

Broken soul, no place of her own,
Broken soul, no love to call her home,
Broken soul, no wings to fly on,
Broken soul, no tears left to cry,
Broken soul, no will left to live,
Broken soul, no strength to die,
Broken soul, no place of her own.

© 2004 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

Seeds of Truth

Far a crossed the western sea,

there lies the land of no knowledge.

When the seeds of Truth take root therein,

a mighty tree will grow.

Storms, storms.

Beware least the roots begin to rot.

Beware least the tree should rot from within.

Mighty tree are now your roots shaken?

Mighty tree is now your trunk hollow?

For if the seeds of Truth do die,

so shall the tree fall.

(In old Irish tradition, the America's were referd to as the "land with no knowledge" or "land without knowledge of", this is were I get the term...)

~ Morria