68, she never saw...

Merami would have turned 68 years old today...
But she lost the battle to cancer back in March...
She didnt make it to 68... let alone 70....
I thought Merami and I were not that close... I thought her passing would not leave this kinda void. After all, she and I never saw eye to eye on most things...

I use to call her into account on her hoarding all the time... she would just blame me for making the mess.  When I lived in the house, I fell for it.  Once I had moved out,I realized, I wasn't the one who made the mess, she just used me as her scapegoat, so she didn't have to face that she had become what she despised the worst... A hoarder. I really started to feel sorry for her... she really believed it was Dad and my fault for not helping her with the mess...and us for making it.  She has been gone less than a year, and Dad has the house nearly back to how I remember it when I was young.

Still, she was a giving soul, with a heart of deep love for others.  She always was talking about missions, children, and was someone I could talk to about both... plus my own struggles of not having a child yet... after all... she was 36 when she adopted me!  I miss the "care packages", even if I threw half of the "bargains" away because they were so cheep they didnt work... still, she was thinking of me...and the specialty Coffees, Natural Candies, Trail Mixes,  and such, always made the box worth getting.  That and she always sent underwear.... Why I had to always buy my own when I lived at home, and the minute I left home she started sending me new clean underwear, is beyond me... but she did, and it was always a blessing.  LOL!  That's a mom for you.

So, in conclusion, Happy 68th Birthday, Merami!  I trust your first one in Heaven rocked!

~ Morria

Car Troubles

So, a friend from church gave us the funds out of the blue to get to New Mexico for the young man's memorial.  We were totally not expecting this.  It was all that we needed plus some extra.  That is all we were needing till at Hurricane Mills, Stormy decided she wanted to die.  Well, actually she had been over heating for a while, just at Hurricane Mills she decided she wasn't going to go any more.

Never in my life have has this gypsy gal been so thankful for a semi-hard bed at a Knight's Inn as I am tonight.  We were hot, soaked to the bone with our own sweat, and famished.  We walked to the gas station and got some pizza as nothing else was open.  Now after showers we are going to crash for the night.  Tomorrow, we are going to slowly drive on down into town, and prayerfully get the car fixed.  Dad said he would pay for it... Such a blessing.... Now, sleep calls my name...

~ Morria

Horror!

Merami is ill.  CANCER!  My heart is crying for her!  How can I stay here?  How can I leave?  She says there is little chance of beating it.  The Docs give her 6 moths at tops, she is praying for longer so she and Dad can get her afares in order.    What is a daughter to do?

It's not like I have not lived with the possibility of this since I was old enough to understand... 4 years old I think I was, the first time I understood what one of her cancer scares was.  But not this... this is the first time it has not been just a scare.  

Shock...
Horror...
Fright...
That is all that comes mind... I'm at a loss for words.

~ Morria