I am a Millennial, still in the Church... Now let me share why and what I struggle with....

First of, I am a 32 year old millennial born near the start of my generation.  I grew up half with Gen Xers, half with Millennials.  I am a woman.  I was raised on the Kansas prairie.  And I was a APK (associate pastor's kid).  I was raised in a Pentecostal church, interned at a Lutheran and an Evangelical Free Church, and have been Baptist since I got married, though I have Anglican and Catholic twinges. I am white. I consider myself a Goth, (Desert Gypsy Goth),  and a devoted Believer.  Why do I say all of this?  Because this does effect my views, as it is my story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Discipleship:  One of the major reasons I stayed with the faith is I was taught the faith and the core traditions not just by one teacher, but by many throughout the years.  But, I say I also sought out a mentor, or two throughout the years, as I believed firmly then as now what Bridget of Kildare stated, "One with out an Anam Cara (soul friend/mentor) wonders about as one without a head."

2:) My faith is personal and deep.  I did not go down the aisle to give my life to Christ, I was not prompted at some big event.  I gave my life to Jesus at the age of 4 1/2 alone in my room in the still of the night (ask me my story).  I felt called to the mission field while sitting be served enchiladas while 3 teens from my church told us grade schoolers about their resent trip to Mexico when I was just 7.   After a time of struggle, I chose to be baptized when I was 21.  Even after the untimely lose of my mother last year (and yes I did struggle for a bit), my faith got me through... 

3) Prayer is a Bedrock in my Life:  I started having daily prayer times when I was 13.  By 15, I often prayed "covered".  I have a prayer closet.  I seek to know my friends prayer request and really do take them to the Lord in prayer until such time as I know they are answered, thanks to my prayer journal.

4) I love Sacraments of the Faith - Baptism and Communion... I love to see my fellow believers take their stand of faith, and I love the sweet Communion with the Lord, His body and blood broken and shed for us.  It saddens me greatly, when I dont see these happening in a church.

5) I am Engaged, but I think Outside the Box:  I am a missionary, but I dont serve overseas.  I work with the underreached, unreached, and often ignored groups of Native America and the Subcultures.  I follow the key teachings of the faith, but how I engage the lost might just look different what your use to, at least in state side ministry ... (ask me more...if you wish).  And I have had mentors who have encouraged and walked beside me in this, realizing I dont march to the beat of the same drum...

6) Reverence for God's Word - The Bible:  I honestly love the Bible, with all its imperfect people, so in need of a Savior.  Yes, I have read it cover to cover a few times.  Yes I know there are alot of bad things that happened.  But I also see how God redeemed people out of that, as bad as things were, how much more can He from my own troubles and trails....  And YES I do believe it is Holy God's Written Word (literal translation of Diyin God Bizzad  aka Bible in  Navajo).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, let me share some things that might surprise you. 

1) I hunger for deep teaching in church, I understand the need to reach the lost, but also what about those of us who need meat?  Discipleship/Mentoring, please, I beg of you... and just because I am a missionary, dont think I wouldnt love a woman of the faith to honestly walk beside me and to talk to and ask questions especially about being a christian wife... I am motherless, I dont have this guidence in my life.

2) If you are going to tell a story or share facts, do your research. Nothing turns listening ears off faster than Pastors and Teachers who get their basic history and Bible story facts wrong.  If you get that wrong, what else are you getting wrong???  If you make a mistake, and realize it, please be honest and if you can correct yourself.  It shows humility and honestly, and personally regains my attention and trust.

3) Dont be surprised when I know alot about Church history, some Greek and Hebrew, and might be able to point to places where assumptions have been made, not fact.  I want honesty when something is not known... not assumptions made.  I try to do the same thing....

4) Dont set me on the side lines, even if at first I have to clean bath rooms, also be teaching me and finding out my callings.  Help me get engaged in reaching the lost, the poor, the widows, reaching the world, and if I know of needs not being address please list (like the Apostles did when they learned of the Hellenist/Greek Widows not being cared for - 

5) I adore the hymns.  I adore some of the contemporary stuff.  I love to discover old songs of the faith not sung in years, and those like Be Thou My Vision which date back nearly 1500 years!  But I also like to experiment with style, and I even have some songs memorized.  That is I can sing them without the music sheet or hymnal, and without insterments too.  I also love the old church chants and high church music.  Please be open to using old and new....

6) Communion, Baptism, Reverence for the Word: These are important to me, VERY important.  I shutter when a church does not have Communion at least once a month, and feel deprived of a vital part of my faith. 

7) Community: Genuine community building, being honest friends, staying connected even when one is far away...after all this is the age of technology!  I have better connections with many in the Christian Goth community and those outside of the church, than friends from past churches...even though I try to stay connected.  Why is this?  (I honestly wish to know.)

8) Church Clicks:  Ok, adults.  We harp and harp and harp on our teens and kids not to do this.  Why are we doing it as adults in our churches?  I am so thankful for the churches that are not like this!  As a missionary, who comes back to churches off the field sometimes for a few months to a few years... this can be very hard to deal with.

9) Dont change the Truth to fit me!  Teach me the Truth, so that I might change!  It is sad when I see everyone but the church tightening up on what they believe, while those who have called themselves "little Christs" are not living and loving and holding to the Truth as He did.  Jesus was  and is Authentic.  Do we even know our own Bible, faith and church history enough to be authentic to it - - - especially to what Jesus taught us?

Those are what has kept me in the church... and what I struggle with.  I am just one Millennial, but if we all start speaking up... maybe we can help the church move forward, and at the same time stay strong in the core tenants of the Faith.  I pray that it is so!

~ Morria

Childless...

I am barren.  This means I am childless, and most likely will be for all time (unless God steps in).  This has been a bitter pill to swallow, especially as all my gal friends start their families.  One of the things I have longed for the most in my life, was to be a mother, and to raise little ones of my own. I am overjoyed for them, and wish them and their little ones nothing but joy and blessings.  Yet, has made me face the facts head on, and come to place of peace and acceptance with them...


For a time I thought working with children in the Church would be a balm to my soul, but, alas, it only made the pain worse.  So, I have stepped down from work with children, at least under the age of middle school... It is not that I dont like to be around others children, working with them in a class long term is just torture.  For now, unless we adopt - which we need a home and more income first -, there will never be a Zahena Sylvaina, Zeke Patrick, Bryan Matthias, or Mahala Lillie in our lives...
And for once I can say, I am becoming okay with that... sure, it is a change in plans from what I had for 30+ years, but I am okay with it... as this journey goes along, we will just see where it takes us....

~ Morria

Masks

 Masks, so many of us wear them, feel forced to wear them, or are required to wear them to keep jobs, be at a church, work in a mission.  Yet, kids and teens so many times see right through them, whether we want them to or not.  Why do we wear them?  Do we really need them?  Or is it just our own pain that causes us to wear them...

 Personally, I wear mine when I have been hurt so deeply that I cannot see beyond the pain.  It is not that I want to put it on, but the wound is soo deep, and so hard to deal with that the mask is all that lets me keep going, so that I am not always asked what is going on beneath.  I take it off before a few that are trusted, and finally when healing begins the mask comes off for all.

As a Christian, I hate wearing a mask.  I know that I dont have everything in my life in place.  I know that I mess up more times that I can remember.  I know that my brothers and sisters in Christ mess up just as much as I do.  I wish we had places where we could be more open and honest.  I wish the Church could stand up and be that place of safty again for us... maybe it can, but first we all have to get brave and take off the masks and agree to be honest and loving... no matter what we see..  Can we?  Will we?  I pray so....

~ Morria

How do you deside?

We were offered a chance to move back to Dine Bikeyah... to live among the people we love.  Not sure about the pastor or the church, but it is a chance to return to our beloved Dine Bikeyah.  How does one decide?  How does one know for sure what lays before them?  So much to think, so much to figure out.  One thing remains for sure.  These  Gypsies have got to get "home"...

~ Morria

Car Troubles

So, a friend from church gave us the funds out of the blue to get to New Mexico for the young man's memorial.  We were totally not expecting this.  It was all that we needed plus some extra.  That is all we were needing till at Hurricane Mills, Stormy decided she wanted to die.  Well, actually she had been over heating for a while, just at Hurricane Mills she decided she wasn't going to go any more.

Never in my life have has this gypsy gal been so thankful for a semi-hard bed at a Knight's Inn as I am tonight.  We were hot, soaked to the bone with our own sweat, and famished.  We walked to the gas station and got some pizza as nothing else was open.  Now after showers we are going to crash for the night.  Tomorrow, we are going to slowly drive on down into town, and prayerfully get the car fixed.  Dad said he would pay for it... Such a blessing.... Now, sleep calls my name...

~ Morria

Youth Lock In!

This past weekend was the Youth Lock In.  It was such a blast.  I got to even use the "swords" Samuel made for practice fighting.  None of the guys were letting me, so Samuel gave me a turn with him.  I think he might have let me win, but I still surprised him by hitting him squarely in the back when he turned.  It was still a fair win.  And after that the guys let me fight, and except when they would get called for cheating (you can hold the swords by the "blade"), I could hold my own.   The girls would not even fight me.  I fought "to hard" and to "rough".  Rebv stopped by, too.  He hasn't come to church for ages, but it was good to see him.

~ Morria

A Job!

I am working a seasonal job!  I am so excited.  It is my first job outside of baby/yard/dog setting or church...  Where?  I am working at Bergmann's Pumpkin Patch!  Other than nearly freezing my hands of cleaning small pumpkins in the cold water early mornings it's a blast.  Often, I get to take a hayride out to the fields, because it is faster to hitch a ride than to walk it. ~_^  It is just awesome!

 I am still nervous every plane that flies too low over head (Haysville is on air path Wichita's airport.), fearful that another attack will come... but it doesnt.  *La sigh!*  Forever changed.

~ Morria

Journey to New Orleans!

So here I am in New Orleans with my new found friends...  Sonnie, Matt, and so many others.  As I sit on the floor of the church on my bed roll drying off, I cant help thinking... "Wow, this is more than I ever imagined!"  I have heard people speaking full Cajun French, eatted mostly Cajun and Creole food, and discovered Cafe Due Mont Ice Coffee.  Even more, I found a "little brother", and a dear friend...



What have I done besides see the sights?  We hosted a VBS at a church in the 9th Ward.  Done street ministry along side voodoo booths, fortune tellers, and tarot card readers.  Talked at length to a practicing druid from Ireland.  Yes, we did take a day to shop at the markets and shops... but that was one day out of 14! And that is also the day it desided to down pour on us... thus why I am sitting here drying off.  LOL!

~ Morria