Who is Morria?

Who is Morria?  That is a question I find myself asking more and more.  As a child I had an ideas of who she would be grown up: strong, brave, a singer, a writer, a well traveled woman.  As a teen, I started carving a path: a dash of goth, a bit of gypsy, an herbalist, a wanderer, a warrior woman, a poet.  As a twenty something, I got lost in a fog: death, sorrow, betrayal, broken heart, shattered dreams, new dreams, and true love.  And now as a thirty something, I am trying to find out just who she is.  But the piece are not so easy to figure out.  Am I just the woman I am day to day?  The woman who works a 10-7 (nightshift), comes home, sleeps, drives her husband to college, and longs for more?  Or am I that herbalist, gypsy goth, writer, that I still envision myself as?  I am not sure, but I sure am going to find out...

~ Morria

God, are You there?

Daddy?  God?  Iosa?  Are You still there?   Do You hear me when I pray?  Do You see how shattered I have become?  Do You still guide me through this fog, or have I now wandered into a cave?  Does Your light still shine on my path?  Have I wandered off the path?   I am no longer Yours?  Have You abandon me?  Are You still with me?

Why won't this pain lift from my heart?  Why can I not see beyond the sorrow and the pain?  Betrayal, death, brokenness, loss of trust... two blows at once... more than I could take.  You know me... I have never prayed for life to be easy... I have just prayed for myself to be strong in You, that I might make it through.  Help me keep going... help me keep taking it one day at a time... help me stay strong and not give up.

~ Morria