Reflections on Chicago...

Here I am age 25, having just gotten done with my first summer working in Dine Bikeyah at BABR...  Now I am in a city far different from the Pinon Pine and Sage Brush covered desert which I am in love with.  Here I can hear the lone coyote howling his lonely watches through the night in the near by graveyard where he lives.   Here I can here the ambulance bring the injured the the hospital 3 blocks away all hours of the night from my 5th story window.  Here I can feel the breeze from the water of lake Michigan 8 blocks away. 

Yet my heart had no peace.   I am as always a wander in a strange land, far from the place I call home....We know we just have no peace in the city and have to follow our callings...  By the time our 14 months living in Chicagoland will be up, we will be restless and trapped by the buildings....already are just 4 months in.  Still I love the city... but forever it seems the open road is calling...

~ Morria

Longings...

There is soo much I could be doing, soo much my life once held.   I need to learn how to lead in the battle no matter how week my physical body is... for this battle is not against flesh and bone, but against the things in the spiritual realm that stand against God.

I find my self more and more restless... though I am not well enough to work away from home.   I awake in the middle of the night (my time of the day---not my parents or I would be up more at night.) longing for more.   I use to be so focused.  I used to be so sure of where I was headed.   Where did that go?

"God, I beg of Thee, show me what path to walk... guide me.  Return understanding to me... that I might know the meanings to that which You are showing me.   I return again to Thy Word with faithfulness, as close as a human can know...anyway.   My King, teach Thy daughter what You want of her.  Show to her the journey-task.  Amen.† "

~ Morria

The Gypsy Goth Gal

PEACE....
now that is a word that use to be so easy for me to explain.  Life was good.  I knew where I belonged in those days.  Well, at least in terms of at my church.... took me years to find out I belonged reaching out the the youth.

UNREST...
O, my soul is restless!
I know it now.  I have the restless, wandering spirit of the Irish missionaries and gypsies of old.  I knew by now I would be preparing to leave home.  I knew it when I was 16.  I wish I had listened to myself better.  LOL! Oh to wander the open lands, going where He sends me!

PAINED...
The Sorrow and Loss of the past year, the Year of Sorrow, have left it's bitter scars.  Death, losses, unwise choices, bitter wounds, and lessons learned. I may not be strong yet, but I am stronger from these trials.  I am not praying for this life to be easy, just for the strength to make it.

ACTION...
With this all summed up, I am starting to really prepare and pack today.  My goal? That I might be able to give up  all that which is no longer needed or useful for the journey.  My time in Kansas is over... No matter how much longer I physically stay, I will live as if I am a visitor, a gypsy goth on the way to their next stop.

Father to You this Life, I commit!

~ Morria