Figuring things out...

Sometimes I wish I knew more... Understood more... Could peace the puzzle that is life together better... Here I am 32, and sometimes I think I had a better grasp on life at 16 than I do now.  Then there are moments when I think I am beginning to glimpse  the path, only to have it disappear into the shadows again.  I thought I knew who I was when I was 13, when I was 16, when I was 19, when I was 25, but now at 32.... I can honestly say, this Gypsy Gal has no clue who she really is...  Am I the herbalist?  Am I the missionary? I am the wife, who dutifully aids her husband so that he can better provide for them?  Am I the scared girl, who has forgotten her way?  Or am I something more... that I have not quite figured out yet?

Dont get me wrong... I love the life I have lived thus far.  Yet, ever since last year... when my adopted mother died just after I was "stabbed in the back" by someone else I trusted... I have felt displaced, out of focus, not quite sure of the world.  It is not like I have not faced death over and over.  It is not like I have not dealt with betrayal before and come out alright... but this time it rocked me to my core.

I keep think I am coming out of it... I keep think I am getting better... only to find myself still in the dark cave still marveling at the light, but not quite ready to crawl all the way out yet.  Yeah, I may be closer to the opening than I was 6 months ago... but I am not out yet by any mean... "O, God, help me! I cant do this alone!"

~ Morria

Herbalist

My studies are going well.  Better than I expected.  At first, I was like, well Natural Health is here to stay, I have always been good at understanding it, yet, I just did not really realize how much God had built it into me as one of my great passion.  True, often in my stories there was an herbalist.  When I was younger at first it was a secondary character, and I was the warrior woman.  Then as I grew older that shifted, and instead of a warrior woman, I was the healer, the herbalist herself...

Then, I really grew up, and bought into what I was told, "You cant do that, not in the modern world."  I should have looked into it.  I should not have just listened to those who were ill informed on many issues.  It is a viable trade again, there is training for it, which now I am seeking, but with great time lost.  Yet, looking back I wonder... Would have I been as good at it at 19 as I am now at 32?  Would I have had the passion, the skill, the understanding?  Or would I have just been a childish dreamer back then?  I guess I shall never know, but the future is indeed brighter.   Soon, I shall be Morria the Herbalist, for that I am truly thankful.

~ Morria

32nd Year...

So, as of 9:35AM, I am offically 32 years old/young, how ever you wish to see it!  LOL!  Some people dont count their years past 21 or 30, but for me, I soo do!  I guess my year of sorrow at 19 years old, taught me how each year we are given is a blessing from the Lord, and to treasure the moments and cherish those we love...for we don't know not how long we have!  I have been blessed with a good 31 years, and cant wait to make the best of my 32nd!  This year from where I now stand, seems to be shaping up to be the best in years, partly because of my view on it, partly because I will strive to make that way, and partly because of good things set to happen in 2015... Year of the Gypsy, here I come!

~ Morria

A Teacher's Aid!

I asked what I could do to help in Youth Group to get "plugged in" now that I am a 19 year old, and not a high schooler.  Our Youth Ministry Director said the Middle School class could use a female prescience as the teacher's wife was expecting and had two preschoolers, thus was unable to attend any longer.  Thus I am now a teacher's aid in Samuel's class!  Tonight was the first night and it was awesome.  I have already come up with a saying, and it stuck.  "Keep all 6 legs on the floor.  4 of your chair, two of your body."  They had to stop and think about that one.  LOL!

~ Morria

Best Bday EVER!!!

Tonight was just awesome!  I turned 19 today, and unlike my 18th birthday this one ROCKED!  I got the St. Francis bird feeder I wanted, a copy of the complete LOTR trilogy in one BOOK!  Not only that, Daddy took me to see LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring!  Mind you, he sleep through the first 1/3rd of the movie while they were in the Shire, but at least he came with me.  Hee,hee!  Arwen Evenstar and Strider were even better then in the book, and yes, their love story is in the back if anyone cares to go check it out.  Now I think I shall finish the rest of the 2 books so I know how it ends, as I have only ever read "Fellowship" in the past.  It is great to be 19!

~ Morria