I am a Millennial, still in the Church... Now let me share why and what I struggle with....

First of, I am a 32 year old millennial born near the start of my generation.  I grew up half with Gen Xers, half with Millennials.  I am a woman.  I was raised on the Kansas prairie.  And I was a APK (associate pastor's kid).  I was raised in a Pentecostal church, interned at a Lutheran and an Evangelical Free Church, and have been Baptist since I got married, though I have Anglican and Catholic twinges. I am white. I consider myself a Goth, (Desert Gypsy Goth),  and a devoted Believer.  Why do I say all of this?  Because this does effect my views, as it is my story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Discipleship:  One of the major reasons I stayed with the faith is I was taught the faith and the core traditions not just by one teacher, but by many throughout the years.  But, I say I also sought out a mentor, or two throughout the years, as I believed firmly then as now what Bridget of Kildare stated, "One with out an Anam Cara (soul friend/mentor) wonders about as one without a head."

2:) My faith is personal and deep.  I did not go down the aisle to give my life to Christ, I was not prompted at some big event.  I gave my life to Jesus at the age of 4 1/2 alone in my room in the still of the night (ask me my story).  I felt called to the mission field while sitting be served enchiladas while 3 teens from my church told us grade schoolers about their resent trip to Mexico when I was just 7.   After a time of struggle, I chose to be baptized when I was 21.  Even after the untimely lose of my mother last year (and yes I did struggle for a bit), my faith got me through... 

3) Prayer is a Bedrock in my Life:  I started having daily prayer times when I was 13.  By 15, I often prayed "covered".  I have a prayer closet.  I seek to know my friends prayer request and really do take them to the Lord in prayer until such time as I know they are answered, thanks to my prayer journal.

4) I love Sacraments of the Faith - Baptism and Communion... I love to see my fellow believers take their stand of faith, and I love the sweet Communion with the Lord, His body and blood broken and shed for us.  It saddens me greatly, when I dont see these happening in a church.

5) I am Engaged, but I think Outside the Box:  I am a missionary, but I dont serve overseas.  I work with the underreached, unreached, and often ignored groups of Native America and the Subcultures.  I follow the key teachings of the faith, but how I engage the lost might just look different what your use to, at least in state side ministry ... (ask me more...if you wish).  And I have had mentors who have encouraged and walked beside me in this, realizing I dont march to the beat of the same drum...

6) Reverence for God's Word - The Bible:  I honestly love the Bible, with all its imperfect people, so in need of a Savior.  Yes, I have read it cover to cover a few times.  Yes I know there are alot of bad things that happened.  But I also see how God redeemed people out of that, as bad as things were, how much more can He from my own troubles and trails....  And YES I do believe it is Holy God's Written Word (literal translation of Diyin God Bizzad  aka Bible in  Navajo).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, let me share some things that might surprise you. 

1) I hunger for deep teaching in church, I understand the need to reach the lost, but also what about those of us who need meat?  Discipleship/Mentoring, please, I beg of you... and just because I am a missionary, dont think I wouldnt love a woman of the faith to honestly walk beside me and to talk to and ask questions especially about being a christian wife... I am motherless, I dont have this guidence in my life.

2) If you are going to tell a story or share facts, do your research. Nothing turns listening ears off faster than Pastors and Teachers who get their basic history and Bible story facts wrong.  If you get that wrong, what else are you getting wrong???  If you make a mistake, and realize it, please be honest and if you can correct yourself.  It shows humility and honestly, and personally regains my attention and trust.

3) Dont be surprised when I know alot about Church history, some Greek and Hebrew, and might be able to point to places where assumptions have been made, not fact.  I want honesty when something is not known... not assumptions made.  I try to do the same thing....

4) Dont set me on the side lines, even if at first I have to clean bath rooms, also be teaching me and finding out my callings.  Help me get engaged in reaching the lost, the poor, the widows, reaching the world, and if I know of needs not being address please list (like the Apostles did when they learned of the Hellenist/Greek Widows not being cared for - 

5) I adore the hymns.  I adore some of the contemporary stuff.  I love to discover old songs of the faith not sung in years, and those like Be Thou My Vision which date back nearly 1500 years!  But I also like to experiment with style, and I even have some songs memorized.  That is I can sing them without the music sheet or hymnal, and without insterments too.  I also love the old church chants and high church music.  Please be open to using old and new....

6) Communion, Baptism, Reverence for the Word: These are important to me, VERY important.  I shutter when a church does not have Communion at least once a month, and feel deprived of a vital part of my faith. 

7) Community: Genuine community building, being honest friends, staying connected even when one is far away...after all this is the age of technology!  I have better connections with many in the Christian Goth community and those outside of the church, than friends from past churches...even though I try to stay connected.  Why is this?  (I honestly wish to know.)

8) Church Clicks:  Ok, adults.  We harp and harp and harp on our teens and kids not to do this.  Why are we doing it as adults in our churches?  I am so thankful for the churches that are not like this!  As a missionary, who comes back to churches off the field sometimes for a few months to a few years... this can be very hard to deal with.

9) Dont change the Truth to fit me!  Teach me the Truth, so that I might change!  It is sad when I see everyone but the church tightening up on what they believe, while those who have called themselves "little Christs" are not living and loving and holding to the Truth as He did.  Jesus was  and is Authentic.  Do we even know our own Bible, faith and church history enough to be authentic to it - - - especially to what Jesus taught us?

Those are what has kept me in the church... and what I struggle with.  I am just one Millennial, but if we all start speaking up... maybe we can help the church move forward, and at the same time stay strong in the core tenants of the Faith.  I pray that it is so!

~ Morria

Desert Gypsy Goth, Reawakens!

For those of you who have known me for years, the fact that I consider my self a Goth comes as no surprise.  True, I have alot of steampunk, southwest, dark mori, hippyish, tastes, but that is why I have since 2008 called my style "Desert Gypsy Goth".  Back in the day, I use to speak about being a Goth all the time to who ever would listen, especially the fact that I was/am a Christian Goth.  But to those of you who have met me in the last 5 year, you might suspect, but not be sure.  It is not really something I speak about to much, even though I do have a whole blog dedicated to my hobby of "Gothic Homesteading" and a facebook page to boot!

No, as I have grown older, I know who I am, and just dont care as much what other people say or think.  I know my faith in the Lord, I know my duel callings to the southwest and the "shadowlands", I know that my darker tastes in things are just who I am.  Goodness knows how many times I have tried to brighten up my wardrobe, to only end up back with 90% browns, grays, dark blues and blacks.  But then brown and black have been my favorite wardrobe colors since I was at least 10, though it slowly creeped in.  Basically what I am trying to say is, yes, this is the "Year of the Gypsy", but be sure I am and shall always be me.

~ Morria

PS: Happy World Goth Day (May 22nd)!

Disclaimer: I mean no offence to the Romani culture, I have blood family who is Romani, and they/we take pride in being Gypsy.  ~MMN

The Path comes into Light...

 Today was one of those days you will never forget, when you get a chance to live it. Today's whole service was on missions.  There was a prayer time before it, and I prayed for guidance, very clear guidance, for the path ahead for Robby and me... not even knowing the theme of the whole day. And what a day! Today the youth pastor at our church announced along with his family that they were on track to become international missionaries with SBC and be serving in Southeast Asia.   His wife is becoming a good friend, and I trust we have to to become closer before they leave at the end of the year.  At least, I have offered to help her in any way I can before they depart!

Not only did that happen, but at last I got clarity about the direction Robby and I are headed for ministry with Desert Refuge Ministry.   There were a few open doors, and Robby had been feeling lead towards one of them... Today, that was confirmed for me as well, as the Lord showed me it answered most, if not all, the callings we had felt, in one location/region.  So, from here, preparation begins.  How long will that take?  Only the Lord knows, but Robby doesn't finish school till fall.... so not before then.

~ Morria

Raining!

It is raining, and has off and on for the last few days!  My heart is so happy.  I have always loved the rain, but even more so after we moved to the desert.  To feel its cool wetness upon the skin, tis really a blessing from God!  I just love nights like tonight, when the rain comes, and everything is cool, damp, and beautiful again.  Tis truly a blessings to be enjoyed!

~ Morria

What path?

For so long it seems I have been unsure of the path...  not just the people or the place, but which path to take.  Tis not my faith that I question.  It is where this journey is taking us... or maybe that is the problem.  Maybe I have gotten so focused on getting where the journey is taking us, that I have forgotten to enjoy the journey.  Maybe I have forgotten that each day is a part of it, with its own lessons.  Maybe I have gotten so lost in trying to see the big picture, that I have forgotten to see everything around me and just live,  I feel like I have been waiting around for life to start once we get to where we're going, that I have forgotten to live now... maybe that is why I feel stuck in repeat.  Maybe I haven't learned to live in the now yet... to live each day's journey to the fullest.  And then see what tomorrow brings.  I think I will start that, Today!

~ Morria

Nothing for the Journey?

Luke 9:3, "Take nothing for the journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not have two tunics." ~ ESV  That is a verse that has weighed heave on my soul since I was just 15.  I grew up with a hoarder, and every time I tried to downsize...  I was made to put stuff back.  Then I set out with my husband to start our new life... and we left with a duffle bag each and two backpacks to go on the bus.  Then we moved to and from Chicago with truck load of items.  Then from Kansas to Flagstaff to Thoreau with smaller truck load.  Then we took a uhall to Keavy, KY from Thoreau with all the stuff we had gathered.  Then we stored much of our stuff when we moved from Keavy to Farmington, NM.  When we came to Phoenix, we make 3 trips in 1 car.   I feel the weight of the items we have gathered.  I miss the lightness of the early days.... of that first trip as we just started out.

I know the "Gypsy Road", the path of a nomad, a traveler for the Lord, is not for everyone... and there are times I just want to throw in the towel and say I am done...but He picks me up and says, "For such a time as this..." and I keep going.  Yes we will settle down somewhat one day... and are semi-settled even now.  But that does not mean we should become to attached to things...  For we are all just passing through, and this earth is not our homes... Heaven is our true home, for all who believe!

~ Morria

Ashes to Ashes?

April 12th marks the 1 year mark for my Merami's memorial... and the end of my year of mourning, though I know I will still have to deal with her being gone from now till I myself die.  I think the thing I found the hardest is the fact that she was cremated.  I am not even going to touch the pros-cons or religious views of this, but I am dealing with a real issue.  I have no place to go to say good-byes.  No headstone, no grave... Yeah, sure her ashes are up on the mantle at Dad's place, by her picture (same one pictured here from the memorial)... but that is just not the same.

I am not against cremation, but I personal know when my Dad has passed (he has in his will to be cremated too), I am taking his and mom's ashes and burying them in a grave plot, placing a head stone, and having a place to visit, place flowers, and it be final.   Just like this gypsy gal is looking for her Travelers Rendezvous/permanent home till heaven... so do they need a final resting place.  I just hope I can live some where 29 plus years, as my parents did, and  my Dad still does...

~ Morria