The Path comes into Light...

 Today was one of those days you will never forget, when you get a chance to live it. Today's whole service was on missions.  There was a prayer time before it, and I prayed for guidance, very clear guidance, for the path ahead for Robby and me... not even knowing the theme of the whole day. And what a day! Today the youth pastor at our church announced along with his family that they were on track to become international missionaries with SBC and be serving in Southeast Asia.   His wife is becoming a good friend, and I trust we have to to become closer before they leave at the end of the year.  At least, I have offered to help her in any way I can before they depart!

Not only did that happen, but at last I got clarity about the direction Robby and I are headed for ministry with Desert Refuge Ministry.   There were a few open doors, and Robby had been feeling lead towards one of them... Today, that was confirmed for me as well, as the Lord showed me it answered most, if not all, the callings we had felt, in one location/region.  So, from here, preparation begins.  How long will that take?  Only the Lord knows, but Robby doesn't finish school till fall.... so not before then.

~ Morria

Itchy Feet!

We have been basically stationary for the last 6 months, and my feet are getting itchy to travel.  We have not been this stationary, in well... our whole marriage.  We were always on the road at least part time, raising support as missionaries, traveling to help family, traveling to the churches we worked in on the rez or elsewhere...
Now?  We are so settled it feels like my head is spinning.  This overly hot valley which houses the Phoenix metro is not a place I want to be stuck in for long.  Our lease is till October, so I will abide till then... Hopefully my health will hold out over the summer... as the 90 F it has been already this spring is doing a number on me already.

Maybe God is trying to teach me how to settle down.  How to be a good wife.  How to be a "Stay at Home Gypsy"...
All I know is I am climbing walls and restless trying to figure out who I am looks like in this new chapter that is beginning to open up... and I am not doing to well in the adjustment phase, as Robby can tell you.  Restless "Gypsy Gal" is not a happy "Gypsy Gal".  LOL.

Honestly though, I do think God is trying to teach me to be a good wife, homemaker, and to learn to be a gypsy without always being on the open road.

I don't know where the days and months ahead are leading me and Robby, only that we are on a grand new adventure... bumpy as it may be.
I don't know where this new "road" in life is going, only that the Journey-Giver has set it before us.
"Daddy, help me to be all that You wish for me, in this our new adventure! Amen."

~ Morria

Figuring things out...

Sometimes I wish I knew more... Understood more... Could peace the puzzle that is life together better... Here I am 32, and sometimes I think I had a better grasp on life at 16 than I do now.  Then there are moments when I think I am beginning to glimpse  the path, only to have it disappear into the shadows again.  I thought I knew who I was when I was 13, when I was 16, when I was 19, when I was 25, but now at 32.... I can honestly say, this Gypsy Gal has no clue who she really is...  Am I the herbalist?  Am I the missionary? I am the wife, who dutifully aids her husband so that he can better provide for them?  Am I the scared girl, who has forgotten her way?  Or am I something more... that I have not quite figured out yet?

Dont get me wrong... I love the life I have lived thus far.  Yet, ever since last year... when my adopted mother died just after I was "stabbed in the back" by someone else I trusted... I have felt displaced, out of focus, not quite sure of the world.  It is not like I have not faced death over and over.  It is not like I have not dealt with betrayal before and come out alright... but this time it rocked me to my core.

I keep think I am coming out of it... I keep think I am getting better... only to find myself still in the dark cave still marveling at the light, but not quite ready to crawl all the way out yet.  Yeah, I may be closer to the opening than I was 6 months ago... but I am not out yet by any mean... "O, God, help me! I cant do this alone!"

~ Morria