Illness Hits Again...

Hey, I had a "spell" with my mystery illness last night....and now today my speech is bad....like I can't think of what to say....just getting it out is slow and labored.....I hate this affecting my muscles and joints.  Please pray that my speech turns normal by Christmas vacation.

~ Morria

Grandmother's Passing

*sobs hard*  My grandma went home to be with the Lord today.   She was the last of my grandparents.  Now all the elders are gone.  I miss her so much.  I went into my room and rubbed her lotion on my arms, for her skin always smelled of it.  It smelled like her hugs.  

Alas, I wanted to be on the road again, but not for her funeral...  Fare thee well, Grandma Fitzpatrick.  Rest in peace my beloved "White Rose"...

~ Morria

The Road Ahead...

Easy road?  What be it....
Ne'er is my road easy....
Trails and sorrows
Joys and friends.....

Ne'er has been this road easy.
Narrow road! It be mine!

Full of rocks, of sword
Of pain
Yet in the end
A crown be mine
In it's Zion land.
2005 MMH/MMN

Simplicity.....I have hungered for it for years.....studied books.....and all.....and at last I am beginning to take the steps that way.....I realize I have to be at peace inside.....and no longer needing the decorations and stuff around me....to keep my mind at peace......but that peace comes from within and from God....now with that accomplished....I can begin the decluttering of my stuff.....peacefully.....and with joy in my work.

In Memory...

They say this pain it goes away,

They say with time it eases,
If this then be true why do I think of you?

Every time a death comes by,
Every time I hear the Word,
Wonder I why you had to die.

Why when I see to study,
Why when I start to write,
Do my eye not stay dry?

Why cant I pick up a pen?
Why cant I draw again?

It has been nigh three summers,
Since death took you home,
Yet still here I morn,
And long for the eternal home.

Your words and your guidance,
Your smile and your laugh,
Still linger on though you are gone.

Why did God say I must journey on?

© 2005 MMH/MMN

In honor of my mentor/spiritual big brother, Samuel, who died in 2002.  Yes, I still struggle with survivors guilt/ptsd from his death and the others from the "year of sorrow".

~ Morria

Didean Ranch...

 June 7th, 2005, that is the day the idea for "Didean Ranch" (working title) was born. What does Didean mean?   Nothing less than safe haven, shelter, and refuge!  And that is what this homestead or homestead community will be.  Though we (my friends and I) own not an inch of land, and not one stone is in place, "Didean Ranch" is a reality in the hearts of those who love the ranch.

Our plans our progressing well, though slowly.  I found good info at the library, plus some in my own shelf.  "Back to the Basic's" and "Homesteading" by readers digest are great books, and very helpful. We are unsure if to make it a mini village or just individual ranches, but what ever we do... it will be an adventure.  May haps this is the birth of something a Gypsy Goth Gal could settle at!

~ Morria

Broken Soul

Sometimes I think myself a lovely thing,
A woman of great beauty,
Yet within me rages a fury,
Deep and untamed
Dark and stained
Bloody life....

White face and darkened eyes,
They do hid this broken soul,
Sparkling eyes they do mask,
Broken dreams
And bitter fears....

Oh who will dry these tears?

© 2005 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

Mt. Zion, my aim!

Dark lips,

Blue hair,

Tattered cloths,

Yet singing Your praise!

Unique,

Rejected,

Outcast,

Called for Your service!

Nothing to lose,

So much to gain,

Mt. Zion is my aim!
© 2005 MMH/MMN

"Good" Friday

Black sky, black sky,

the Son to die.
Crimson tide from the tattered Soul.
Shadow cross, shadow cross,

O, such a loss.
Dark shroud for such a bitter end.

© 2005 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

New Year Beginning...

My year is starting strange...I don't really have a clue where God is guiding me.   I think this is Him teaching me to wait on Him....and to listen to others so that I might help them.  I don't know...but this year should be good.... I think?


I just want to draw deep into the things of God....and get to know Him better.  I long to know Him more and grow in prayer and all.   All the project and stuff I could do...mean little compared with knowing Him more...and sharing that with others.

~ Morria