Ashen Skies...

God, burn up all the ugly parts of my life!  Kill the parts of me that You dont want around.   I hate this life like it is right now, with such pain and sorrow.  Burn out the sin, burn out the evil, leave only what You will in their place. Amen!

I don't know where I am headed...I once did... but all this craziness has clouded my view.   God help me see the path again... the ash in the sky is too thick!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaze to heaven, soul in ashes,

Heart on fire, life in rune,

Trials and turmoils,

Joys and blessings,

All this way do come.

Gaze above, life shadows

Heart alive, soul in distress,

Pain and death,

Healing and life,

All this way do come.

© 2004 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

Reflections: 2004

"Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise,

 THOU mine inheritance now and always! " ~ Be Thou My Vision

Let me tell you a bit about the woman I am becoming again....

I am a fun loving, dedicated Christian...recommitted to purity , honesty, humility, and a simplistic lifestyle.   I am into Celtic Christianity and the history of Native America, especially the Navajo.   Personally, I am gypsy gal.  It does not take much to make me happy, a dry place to sleep, some food, good friends, and mi Lord. 

I am kinda shy except with those I am close to, but this is partially because I don't want to hurt others.   In the past I have been like poison, so until I am sure I am not again...I tend to hang back a bit.  Once I open up though, I tend to be bold and confess my soul to you.

That is who I am right now... growing in God... spending time daily in HIS Word.  Praying, seeking His will, and living for Him....seeking a chance to get back on the open road.

~ Morria

Heart Dreams...

I love life, but not as I am facing it now.   I wish I could go back to January 2001 when life was really good... keep the good friends I have made since then, but go back to a simpler time...when my biggest worry was getting money to go on a Missions trip.

I am just heart sick, in more ways than I can list.   I just want to live a simple life away from this crazy world.   Maybe settle into traveling with a good husband, have a few kids (Zahena, Mahala, Zeke, ?), and create safe havens for youth...  So simple, yet so complex is that dream.

You know, I can do like Paul... put the past with its great triumphs and great tribulations behind me.   If he can do it so can I.  It wont be easy, but what in life is anymore?

Oh, for the simplicity of life on the open road again!

~ Morria

Fort Wayne, IN

Well, I am at Aunt Nel's for a while... then heading to Kansas...till I get money and license...then may haps back to Michigan.  So bad stuff happened, and I got drug into the middle of it.  All I can say, is pray for my little bro, Matt.  He is so lost right now…

It is time to let God start making a path for my life.  I must look into more schooling... and where to get the money for it.   I am praying to get to go back to Michigan... at least until I have money and some training.   Who knows... one plan changes and God opens another door. Life is so strange... but worth living.   At least GOD brings great good out of great darkness as only HE can.  I love begin a gypsy goth gal, but this road is so not easy!

On the bright side, spent yesterday with my Aunt Nel and 2nd cousins Ashley and Liz.   Got a beautiful black dress for prom alternative and stuff to go with it.  Still need gloves, a purse, and shoes, but those will come with time.

~ Morria

On the Run?

A few nights ago, my dear brother hurt me deeply, more than I can ever explain... Maybe I was too naive and trusting.  Maybe I could not see the darkness that had creeped into things around us...  all I can say is he betrayed me in a way that no one should ever be...

This has been the worst St. Patrick's Day of my life... and the nearly black, rainy skies are more than proof of that.  I am not talking pretty rain, I am talking the rain that feels like ice to freeze the soul.  All I can say is   "Tá brón orm!" (sorry) to Matt, and "Go raibh maith agaibh!" (thank you) to those who have helped me since then.

~ Morria

Dead to the World?

Mi corp i mort saol a an!  (My body is dead to the world.)

Life is so confusing... just when you think you can see what is going on it all changes.   God, I hand this mess over to you.  Just use me as You see fit.

I will be honest... I am struggling with my faith at the moment.   I do that off and on.   I get on a high with my faith then come down sometimes into the very darkest valleys so to speak.   It seem to be that this is just the storm before life falls in place.... WHO AM I TO KNOW????

Days change, people change, but not always as one would pray.  Why is nothing seeming to go as it should?   God why do You take so long?   This is trying to the soul... but that is the point isn't it?  Nothing worth fighting for comes easy?  RIGHT?

~ Morria

21 Years...

Well, my 21st birthday rocked.   I went shopping with a few friends.... so I got a cool Nightmare Before Christmas shirt and a "stone" mirror.   I also bought for normal price some chain earrings.   Got a fishnet shirt at JC Penny's for $0.77!!!

I am doing really well at the internship.... it appears that the Upper Room Youth Center is a go.   I will find out for sure at next months conceal meeting. 

My health is a mess.   Not so much that I am really that ill.... it is just the crazy spells I have.   Fainting, breathing problems... every joint in my body hurting.   I wish I was stronger... but maybe it is in the weakness I am meant to help another.  Only Iosa knows for sure, and therefore I trust in Him. 

God help me through this... please, if be Your will, either heal me now... or show me who I am to aid by in my trials still being faithful to YOU.  Amen.

~ Morria