Fort Wayne, IN

Well, I am at Aunt Nel's for a while... then heading to Kansas...till I get money and license...then may haps back to Michigan.  So bad stuff happened, and I got drug into the middle of it.  All I can say, is pray for my little bro, Matt.  He is so lost right now…

It is time to let God start making a path for my life.  I must look into more schooling... and where to get the money for it.   I am praying to get to go back to Michigan... at least until I have money and some training.   Who knows... one plan changes and God opens another door. Life is so strange... but worth living.   At least GOD brings great good out of great darkness as only HE can.  I love begin a gypsy goth gal, but this road is so not easy!

On the bright side, spent yesterday with my Aunt Nel and 2nd cousins Ashley and Liz.   Got a beautiful black dress for prom alternative and stuff to go with it.  Still need gloves, a purse, and shoes, but those will come with time.

~ Morria

On the Run?

A few nights ago, my dear brother hurt me deeply, more than I can ever explain... Maybe I was too naive and trusting.  Maybe I could not see the darkness that had creeped into things around us...  all I can say is he betrayed me in a way that no one should ever be...

This has been the worst St. Patrick's Day of my life... and the nearly black, rainy skies are more than proof of that.  I am not talking pretty rain, I am talking the rain that feels like ice to freeze the soul.  All I can say is   "Tá brón orm!" (sorry) to Matt, and "Go raibh maith agaibh!" (thank you) to those who have helped me since then.

~ Morria

Dead to the World?

Mi corp i mort saol a an!  (My body is dead to the world.)

Life is so confusing... just when you think you can see what is going on it all changes.   God, I hand this mess over to you.  Just use me as You see fit.

I will be honest... I am struggling with my faith at the moment.   I do that off and on.   I get on a high with my faith then come down sometimes into the very darkest valleys so to speak.   It seem to be that this is just the storm before life falls in place.... WHO AM I TO KNOW????

Days change, people change, but not always as one would pray.  Why is nothing seeming to go as it should?   God why do You take so long?   This is trying to the soul... but that is the point isn't it?  Nothing worth fighting for comes easy?  RIGHT?

~ Morria

21 Years...

Well, my 21st birthday rocked.   I went shopping with a few friends.... so I got a cool Nightmare Before Christmas shirt and a "stone" mirror.   I also bought for normal price some chain earrings.   Got a fishnet shirt at JC Penny's for $0.77!!!

I am doing really well at the internship.... it appears that the Upper Room Youth Center is a go.   I will find out for sure at next months conceal meeting. 

My health is a mess.   Not so much that I am really that ill.... it is just the crazy spells I have.   Fainting, breathing problems... every joint in my body hurting.   I wish I was stronger... but maybe it is in the weakness I am meant to help another.  Only Iosa knows for sure, and therefore I trust in Him. 

God help me through this... please, if be Your will, either heal me now... or show me who I am to aid by in my trials still being faithful to YOU.  Amen.

~ Morria

Broken Soul...

Broken soul, no place of her own,
Broken soul, no love to call her home,
Broken soul, no wings to fly on,
Broken soul, no tears left to cry,
Broken soul, no will left to live,
Broken soul, no strength to die,
Broken soul, no place of her own.

© 2004 MMH/MMN

~ Morria

Leaving Kansas…

1 day left in Kansas... I am both loving the thought of leaving... and yet it is so bittersweet to leave behind all my friends.   Well, I will be back to visit.

I saw my cousin, Lynn, yesterday at the mall.  We hung out for an hour... it was fun to see her face while we were in some of the stores: we have such different tastes.   I got a journal for all my must private thoughts... one with a lock so no one, like my little "brother", can read them.

Mom is throwing me a going away party at my church.   I kinda like the idea... but it is just so hard to say goodbye... or even if I will see you later or in heaven, if not before.  *La sigh*  Well, life must go on... as must I.

A gypsy goth gal am I, and this is the price of such a life...

~ Morria

Christmas in Kansas!

Made it!  Weather was a fright, and it seemed I would never make it to Kansas.  Snowed in both Lansing, and Chicago... and was 3 hours late getting out of airport, but made it home in time for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Blest Christmastide to everyone!

~ Morria