Winds of Change...

Life is always change, always shifting on us.  Nothing ever stays the same.  This is especially true in the dusty windy season of the desert southwest.  What would I do if things truly stayed the same?  I would not have wanted to stay where I was 9 and 10 years ago, during the "year of sorrow".    Why do I call it that, and not the "year of death"?  Death is just so much part of mortal life, that the "year of sorrow" just makes more since...  Why?

10 years ago, five people close to me died in 6 months, plus my dog Wolfy died, plus my mom and and grandma were going through major health issues.  I was at the end of my ropes.  I took a knife and tried to end it all, and probably would have if two dear friends had not stopped me.  Then over the next years, I was abused by my x-boyfriends...repeatedly, as I kept going back...
Yes, I am glad the winds of change blow through all our lives.  God give us each healing, if we honestly seek it from Him...though at times it can seem slow. Today I am happily married, a missionary, and dreaming of a homestead with our own family. Today there is joy and peace in my life.  That is what I pray for all of you, my friends, His peace and joy.

~ Morria

Disowned ?!?

I dont know where this came from... here we are staying with some family, and there is a big old fight.  I step in and defend verbally my husband.  That turns on me... Now I am a witch, who poisoned Robby's mind, tricked him into planning to go to the Navajo (He has been going summers since 1995, I have only known him since 2004?), and I am doing dark magic.  Umm... NO!  Not only that, my Grandmother and my Mother must be witches too!  No, it is not true.    Robby stepped in and defended me after they had turned on me.  He demanded an apology, as they had not only disrespected his wife, but also a pastor's wife (my mom), and a talented RN who was no longer living to defend herself (my grandma).

That backfired.  Instead of them apologies, we were given 24 hrs to get all our stuff we wanted out of the house, and we were told that from that point on we are totally disowned.  At least we have my truck, Tsalagi, and my family still.  I hate leaving Immanuel Baptist Church, but good bye Kentucky.  Tis not safe for us here.  Maybe when things calm down we will be back.  Dine Bikeyah is still calling, and Kansas is half way there.  Onward... and back to the Gypsy Road it seems... and just when I was getting a wee bit settled in too... *La sigh!*  God help us!

~ Morria

Illness returns, yet again...

My seizures and illness are back with a vengeance....Pray for my strength to withhold during these “spells”, and for me to have the courage to tell my parents who only know of the immune dysregulation.

Mom had me check my temp and all...because I am being so low...both emotionally and physically...and once again I am in a "spell"...grr. Which I already knew, just did not want to admit.

On the bright side, I am planning to go swimming tonight....

~ Morria

Leaving Kansas…

1 day left in Kansas... I am both loving the thought of leaving... and yet it is so bittersweet to leave behind all my friends.   Well, I will be back to visit.

I saw my cousin, Lynn, yesterday at the mall.  We hung out for an hour... it was fun to see her face while we were in some of the stores: we have such different tastes.   I got a journal for all my must private thoughts... one with a lock so no one, like my little "brother", can read them.

Mom is throwing me a going away party at my church.   I kinda like the idea... but it is just so hard to say goodbye... or even if I will see you later or in heaven, if not before.  *La sigh*  Well, life must go on... as must I.

A gypsy goth gal am I, and this is the price of such a life...

~ Morria