Windy Season...

The windy season is beginning to blow into the valley, and my soul is getting happy for it means spring is here.  The time of planting and rejoining the outside world for exploring and gathering is here again... a time of new beginnings and new life joining the world.  A time for fun...

It is a strange time for me as well... it is like the weight of 22 years has fallen off of me.  The last time the world has felt as it does now, I was 10 years old.  Looking back I wander, have I been fighting depression ever since then?  Has that been the burden I could not shake off?  It is as though the world is light and full of joy... as though hope is around every corner...

It makes me think of my childhood, of running through the forests of my Grandma Fitzpatrick's land... of the cross shaped tree, the fallen logs which we hid in, Deirdrea and I.  Of foot races, dreams, and plans, of laughter, stories, and adventures never forgotten.  And then coming in to her home and us three cousins sitting down to watch the Never Ending Story together (the only movie all 3 of us agreed on).  Yes, good times all...
If the future is even 1/2 as bright as those day were...even in the hardest of times, then things really will be looking up.

~ Morria

Shroud of Mourning

The shroud of mourning has come again to my dwelling for on the eve of last my mother past.  *la sigh* I am now without the woman I have called "mama" , my Merami, for the last 30 years since my adoption at 6 months old.  I am at a loss and feel numb.  Shock, depression, and unsureness... this is what I can put my finger on for feelings.  Numbness for sure.  So thankful for my Robby today.  Who knows what the next months foretell?

~ Morria

Lay Me Down...

I have slipped back into depression... I have been boarder line for a few months... but I have crossed over now... *la sigh*... well life goes on whether I am depressed or no.
"Lay me down the cold, cold ground, I will stand, will stand my ground."  Once more I feel as if I have let some of my close friends down... I am such a mess... why do you people even care?

My life is a mess... and has been for ages...
I just hit the bottom... and GOD is now rebuilding me...
*la sigh*... should have let HIM sooner.
I have reasons to live... *la sigh*.. I just wish life was easier.

~ Morria