Good Mood...

I am trying to keep in a good mood...as most likely you can tell.  It is hard some days, for at times I only have enough energy to rest on the couch, read, and talk with friends.   God is helping me.  While I'll never understand why He allows this stuff to happen... I am kinda glad He did.

Nothing like a mystery illness to drive me into His Word and prayer... because that is all I have left to cling to in this life.  My possessions mean little, money means little... the things that matter: friends, family, the Lord, the journey-task.   Those are what in this life that make it matter...

~ Morria

Mistakes...

Mistakes!  I have messed up so bad... I am not sure the broken pieces can be put back together again after this.  Bev, Rayne, and others, they have tried to help... but I am not sure even He can piece me back together after this...  if I fade away then you shall know now why...

~ Morria

Things are finally looking up...

I am taking a course at my church in the School of Ministry.  And as well I am thinking of taking a course in Restaurant and Hotel Management... thinking towards traveling to New Orleans, maybe June 2004.   Yeah... my life is on the up swing.... I got everything in order with my King.   Iosa Criosta (Jesus Christ) is so good to me...

~ Morria

There is no little one...

There is no little one... or if there was one, I lost him/her very early.  There will be no little Kelly in my arms come 9 months from now. I am half relieved, half heartbroken...  I know that is bad of me... but a mother I truly wish to be.

Now to heal my broken soul and heart, and continue down this gypsy road...

~ Morria

Lay Me Down...

I have slipped back into depression... I have been boarder line for a few months... but I have crossed over now... *la sigh*... well life goes on whether I am depressed or no.
"Lay me down the cold, cold ground, I will stand, will stand my ground."  Once more I feel as if I have let some of my close friends down... I am such a mess... why do you people even care?

My life is a mess... and has been for ages...
I just hit the bottom... and GOD is now rebuilding me...
*la sigh*... should have let HIM sooner.
I have reasons to live... *la sigh*.. I just wish life was easier.

~ Morria

Little one?

Everything inside me feels strange...
A bit ago, my maidenhood was stolen from me, and now it feels like there might be more going on than just that.  Never trust a guy with your heart who is only has eyes for your body.
If it is true, I know not how to tell everyone that the "good girl" has fallen from grace.  I know my mother would freak and turn on me... she has more than once for other mistakes.
"Father, I know I have sin.  Forgive me!  If I am a mother to be, let me be a good one to my Kelly, be it a girl or boy..."

~ Morria

Battles...

Awake and arise oh sleeper, for the year of thy mourning has passed from thy gates!!! Arise again unto thy callings and be renewed!

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Why do I feel like my soul is ripped in 2?  Everything comes against me  at once, yet I strive to hold my ground, as a good warrior.  But I am beaten to the ground, broken and crying.  Why Lord must all these things happen?  I just do not understand!  Yet still to You do I cling... what other chance of making it is there?

The tides turn, some of the battles lessen, while others do intensify... A warrior am I, and a warrior I will stay... "Oh, Father, put some balm upon my wounds that I might carry on!  Help me find the journey-task!"

~ Morria